Last Friday: At work there is a whiteboard in the bathroom that has all of our announcements on it. We only have one teacher bathroom so naturally everyone goes in there at least once a day (unless you have a bladder of steal). There are no stalls, just a single bathroom. Anyway, during the last 15 min. of work I decided to go to the bathroom. Two of my co-workers were standing outside of the open bathroom door laughing. I heard the end of the conversation that went a little something like this. “That would have been really funny if you went in there, shut the door and then started doing your business and you look over and see him!” Then I heard my bosses voice coming from inside the bathroom and said, “Maybe I should shut the door from now on even if I am just writing announcements on the board” I laughed and walked away feeling slightly awkward thinking about how bad of a situation that would be. Just so you know my boss is a male and all of the teachers are female.
Monday: I dropped a huge block right on my toe that weighs about 40 pounds. I started jumping up and down on my good foot and couldn’t walk on it for a good while and then was limping. No permanent damage done so we’re good.
Also, I was looking at my pay stub and thought I was spending around $300 a month just for health insurance. I started freaking out a little and my co-teacher was confused because she wasn’t paying that much and she has 4 people covered on hers. She helped me figure out in fact I was paying only around $50 a month and the district was paying $300 a month for me. . . and then she laughed at me.
Tuesday: A co-worker comes in and asks us if we have any extra newborn clothes. She models for us how she had been spit up and peed on. After giving her the extra clothes I was going to tell her that about 5 min. ago I had just bit my tongue really hard and pretty much took off 2 of the taste buds but I don’t think that would have made her feel better so I didn’t. But I thought it was funny!
On Tuesday nights for the next 6 weeks I decided to get some extra hours in for work and help out with a childcare class during a step families class. I get off work at 3:30 and the class does not start till 5:30. Instead of driving all the way back to Bountiful and then back to work (I work in Kaysville) I decided to drive to the Kaysville library and waste time. I did not want to stay at work and get paperwork done that I had been procrastinating for weeks on. No thanks! And since I work at a school they filter the internet. Before you judge me. . .they filter things such as youtube and make it so you can’t get on different sites. BUT I figured out that I can get an internet connection if I drive to the Kaysville library parking lot. I don’t actually have to go into the library! So I decided to watch the Bachelor on hulu in my car from my own computer. Once again don’t judge me but I watch that show. So I made myself at home in the backseat of my car stretched out watching the bachelor while eating my tortilla chips and humus and even had time for a short nap. Many people were judging me as they walked in and out of the library, and saw me in my car but I didn’t care that I felt and looked homeless! Ya just got to laugh at yourself!
P.s. the entire time of watching the bachelor I couldn't get this picture out of my mind!
Today: As I was pulling into work today one of my co-workers was pretending to run over another one. When we got out of our cars I walked with her up to our building and our conversation went a little something like this:
Me: “You should have just hit her!”
Co: “I thought about it, but then my only reasoning for not is because then she wouldn’t have to work today and I still would and that’s not fair!”
Me: “Ha ha, true, but I’m sure she would have eventually sent you to court so you could at least get one day off.”
Co: “Yeah, but then I might have to go to jail.
Me: (using my hands as an invisible scale) “Well. . .work or Jail. . .Hmm”
Co: “Hmm. . .work or jail? Well either way I will get raped!”
Me: HAHAHAHA! I really liked that!
Co: “Well, when you have worked here as long as I have, it’s no big deal!”
And just in general EVERYDAY when some of the teenage Mom's leave my classroom and they say "See ya later" I Always want to say, "Bye, Keep your pants on!" but never have, because I want to keep my job!
And don't worry, the only person who reads this and will fully appreciate the humor behind it is Rachel Yardley!